Well friends, as I rang in the new year, I decided once again to join the futile masses who search for love on the internet. And once again, the trolls, meninists, and scrubs of the interwebs did not fail to inundate me with love notes.
No, I don’t want your dick picks, no
No, I don’t want your insults, no
No, I don’t want your scenarios
No, don’t want none of your time (if your picture is literally Goofy)
No, I don’t want no scrubs
A scrub is a guy who is probably a meninist
Hanging out the side of your tank (yes, this photo was accompanied by a picture of a tank)
Trying to use lines on me
In other news, my life has become an Onion column.