I think Taylor Swift is problematic. She can definitely be a trademark White Feminist (for example, when she accused Nicki Minaj of “pitting women against each other” when Nicki was protesting the lack of representation of women of color at the VMAs). Also, I’m convinced Hiddleswift is a conspiracy, but I also think Calvin Harris is a big baby stuck inside a 6’2″ man’s body. Don’t you have something better to do than bitch about your ex on Twitter, Adam Wiles? Don’t you have to add catchy background noise to some song somewhere?
That’s beside the point. If Taylor is not perfect, and especially if she is not perfect, she still has the right to give and revoke consent at any time. When the newly formed and soon to be irrelevant feud between Kanye West and Taylor Swift is framed in terms of consent, it becomes much less about “dragging” or “shading,” and more about how badly we as a society treat issues of consent.
I am not Alton Sterling. If you are white or white-passing, you are not Alton Sterling.
The first rule of allyship is this: don’t make it all about you.
Do not change your profile picture to whatever inane filter Facebook will come up with (but also, who are we kidding, there won’t be a “we support #blacklivesmatter” filter just as there is no “pray for Baghdad” filter).
Do not turn to your friends and family of color to educate you. Do not use this as an opportunity for debate on social media. And seriously, if you even think about using the word “devil’s advocate,” kindly find the nearest subway car without air conditioning, sit in for at least an hour, and think about your choices.
Devil’s advocates are not allies. They are literally devil’s advocates.
This is not a love story. It might have started out that way, but what began as meet cute turned into a tale of mutual haunting. I’m not writing this piece to prove the fact that I once had a lover who tried to ghost me and instead became my ghost. I don’t care if you believe me. Instead, I want you to know how I gave up my ghost, so that you can think about how you will achieve liberation from yours.